The Thoughts and Feelings of Richard Heath

Work

2006-07-03T11:23:02Z

im in the libarary in college at the moment, putting the finishing touches to my cake decorating file which should have been done by today, oh well i tried. Going to hopefully purchase muses new album today, and try my best to cope with the heat. Whilst sitting in here i realised just how much i hate chavs and inconsiderate people. Why? Because there are two in here who were making a load of racket and making it hard to concentrate whilst everyone was trying to work. There manners are appaling and their language is stolen from the black gangsters in america. They have no identity because they copy others and they talk shit half the time and it is hard to understand. Anyway i was so pissed off this morning because i forgot my disc and everything was just going wrong and i was knackered, but im feeling better now, since the external verifier that was supposed to come in and check over our cake decorating folders isn't coming until next week, however i still have to finish my folder, because my lecturer needs to verify it herself, so yer i suppose i'd better go and finish what i started.

Hope everyone likes my new journal layout and everything by the way, the background picture is of muse sitting on a windowsill in case anyone was interested.

Gotta go, take care everyone,

until next time,

Ciao

I just wanted to hold you in my arms

2006-06-28T14:44:49Z

yes i know i updated last night in the middle of my work which probably put me off but i wanted to add some things today. still got a lot of work to do, just tried Coke zero and its shite, hopefully doing the rest of my kitchen folder in september because im not finished and the college seems to think its all my fault. been ill these last few days really starting to piss me off with stomach pains, a bad headache neck and back pains, the last two were probably from sitting at my laptop for hours this morning. I didnt get quite a bit done in the end but not enough, so ill be probably doing that in a minute, if i do get everything done i think id have done a alright job which can hopefully then translate into a high pass or low merit at least.#

Listened to black holes and revalations at half one this morning im loving the album, comes out on monday cant get Map of the problamatique and starlight out of my head for certain verses.

Must dash, got stuff to print out and the like

Take care all,

Richard

Work and end of term approaches

2006-06-27T21:17:31Z

Its near the end of term and i have a lot of work to do right now, theory work, a bar folder that needs to be finished, and an icing folder (for cake decorating) and a sugarflowers folder, but not right now, as ive got an extension on the course, but yer thought id quickly update as work is taking its toll. The upcoming thursday means an awards evening at the Swan hotel for hospilality students, students who do people and professional services or whatever it is, and sports, the whole of our department has been encouraged to attend since the college spent a lot of money on hiring out the swan and apparently theirs going to be special guests there to present the awards such as Gordon Ramsay, yer right i thought but i can see where the college is coming from, must be the first time that ive actually agreed with Derrick...

Listening to the new muse album at the moment Black Holes and Revalations, nah i havent brought it..yet its on their myspace, they are letting people listen to the whole album on their page.

So far i am loving the songs, ones that stick out at the moment are Take a Bow which is insane, Starlight which has some very memorable lyrics in and Map of the Problemamatique which i swear was a b side on a single or something but is nevertheless a great tune mainly for the beginning. Enough about that, i just cant wait till all this work is finished and summer can start properly, ive already been getting into the sprit of the World Cup by playing football and watching the matches but i shouldnt have been really because of the workload i had, but nevermind. So far i think the Cup's been a mixed bag, with all the injuries but nevertheless i think we are playing pretty decent football and thats why we were able to get into the quarters. Hopefully we'll get further than that obviously, but we will have to see. Some of the referees are idjits though and there is so much pushing and shoving and foul language and voilent behaviour being exhibited by the players and stuff-anyone would think it was a judo training exercise but x-rated and at a fast pace!

Anyway i should be going now to continue with my work, wish me luck..

Take care all,

Richard

Update

2006-06-19T12:18:26Z

Hello all, still feeling not right, college doing my head in, weather too fecking humid, weekend alright knackered as anything got class in about half an hour, ive got an extension for my sugar flowers course and only two weeks of the whole course left, ive got an icing folder to complete for cake decorating and my practical work is almost finished, got this week to finish it, got a bar folder to finish as well so im gonna be quite busy, might set up an ebay account soon and see if i can sell some stuff, need to do some work this week so i can go to brighton at the weekend for mardi gras, heres hoping i raise the twenty quid i need. ive been told there are a lot of gay people that go down there and women wear hardly anything- we shall see, did some babysitting over the weekend and got some cash out of it, was all good, saw a mate of mine spyke over weekend havent seen him in ages was interesting to see hows hes been, borrowed fort minor album off him too heard all of it yesterday is cool espcially 'where'd you go' its got this hot girl singing in it.

Oh and this is a message to a special someone- Congratulations on finishing your exams! Try not to worry about the results too much, im sure you have tried your best, and thats all you can do. Keep your chin up and relax :-)

Right gotta go, laters all,

Richard

this week

2006-06-10T18:09:47Z

The weathers been great this week. My mind hasnt. Ive felt depressed alot this week, tired and emotionally unstable. Only one person will have any idea what im on about.

It just hurts. It hurts so much sometimes i wish id never told her how i felt, i felt i needed to let her know, like she deserved to know, but being just her friend is great too, admittadly the friend i rarely see, but you know.. She is probably better off not talking to me :( but it depends what she wants, shes busy at the moment with exams anyway.

College is getting a tad stressfull atm. i have a lot of work top finish in these next few weeks.

Watched englands opening game of the world cup today, didnt catch the first half but watched the second half, england need to improve their defense in my opinion and Sven needs to sort out his managerial skills, he made some rather daft subsitutions in the second half.

I just hope rooney is able to play and our best players keep on top form, such as joe cole and owen for example, and inexperienced players in the squad that sven was daft enough to pick stay out of the matches.

Im off now

Take care everyone, and good luck to people who are in the middle of exams at the moment.

Richard

Bloody catering department!

2006-05-15T11:53:35Z

Well, Im as tad annoyed. I fell down a forty five degree hill yesterday whilst in chicksands watching trails bikers (a friend of mines sick idea of a joke) and almost broke my arm again, i did three flips in the air though and made my mates crap themselves with laughter, so oh well. My neck is killing me today, and ive got cuts up my arm, nothing serious though. I also went to a car boot sale in Flitton (near flitwick, if you didnt know/hadnt guessed) which id been too before, it was pretty big and there were a lot of good deals on offer, two of the people i was with made advantage of these good deals, one got a minidisc player for four quid and the other got a piece of kit that can allow you to watch tv on your computer for about a fiver, and also a complete computer for about a tenner, it had windows 98 on it and wasnt that fast, but it had a large hard drive and ran alright.

I went to my mate dans house last night after getting home from daves, and drank kronenbourg blanc, for noone whose tried it before, it kinda tastes like peaches and it very smooth. I also brought some red stripe, but i didnt drink any last night and left the eight cans i brought round his house-oops :S

Today i have a sugarcraft exam which i am not looking forward too, and i was supposed to be having a theory lesson now, but it was cancelled and i wasnt informed, fucking catering department, its been happening far too much recently.

Last week on thursday i was in the kitchen and made a cauliflour soup, in the process i learned how to make a veloute sauce, i kinda fucked it up though, i was supposed to add the flour slowly in the process of making a roux (flour and melted fat together, the base for a lot of sauces) but instead, typical richard style, i added it all at once, so i had to whisk like mad after adding the vegetable stock to make it work-it turned out alright in the end though :) I had friday off last week and used it to my advantage by filling in an application form and handing it in- go me! I also could apply for another job in a pub in town called the fleur de lis-if i ring them up. The application form i filled in on friday was for the litten tree, another pub in town. Still havent heard from bloody nicholls, a restuarant by the river which i applied for-god dammit.

Muses new single supermassive black hole got air play last week and is available for download!
The new albums title has also been confirmed-its gonna be called black holes and revalations, and is released on july the 3rd, super massive black hole is available on my mums birthday, june the 12th, i cant wait.

Right, still got forty minutes to kill :S but i think ive said enough, Chris i will get round to e mailing you back mate, just be patient, ok? :)

Bye all, take care, and until next time,

Ciao

Recent events

2006-04-18T16:26:32Z

15th April- I went to see Roll Deep last night at The Angel (on the broadway, for anyone who lives in bedford or knows where it is) it was crazy, the music was extremely loud, there were people smoking weed, the women were in plentiful supply and i got to meet dizzy rascal, some of roll deep (not all of them were there) dj krome, teknique baby b and the macabre unit all in one night..sheesh. Before you ask im not suddenly transferring to garage music, it was my mates idea to take me and he paid for my ticket, so thats really the only reason why i went.

muses new album, as revealed on their offcial site, is to be realeased july 3rd..cant wait, i read about some of the tracks that were supposed to be on it, such as supermassiveblack hole and hex-need to ensure i have some money then so i can buy it, and must get the absolution dvd as well.

sold my xbox today got a shit amount of cash for it, but oh well. might be meeting some girl called amanda tonight at the exec club, ill just have to see how it goes, any girl has to be better than the last one i met (and consequently got off with) in the exec *shudders*

i still feel as if something is missing from my life though, and i know what it is, im surprised she hasnt realised how i feel to be quite honest.

going o ut with some people on the 20th to the barley stone (sp?) in town, should be alright.

easter tomorrow, thank fuck i brought some stuff for it this time, hopefully no one will complain.

18th April- Easter was alright, woke up late, found my present of some mini chocolate eggs and a tenner and got dressed etc, had lunch, then went to the exec club later on and played some pool and drunk etc and then went to the clarence listened to the karoke and some of our mates perform and then went on the search for some weed and smoked it, i got very stoned and almost threw up. Today i havent really done much (its now tuesday) but i am going to a housewarming party of my mates later and am going to end up meeting his girlfriends family, hope i dont screw up :S

Watching the paul o grady show for some odd reason, probably play gamecube instead.

Till next time, take care all,

Richard

take care all,

Laters.

Thought i should do an update...

2006-04-05T15:19:51Z

Right the life of me as of late, college at the moment is all about doing assessments for my kitchen folder, got two tomorrow, should be alright, and also working on doing my files for sugarcraft and cake decorating. Two of my mates are leaving to go on a fair tomorrow, so i am seeing them for the last time tonight and eating with them, and maybe sleeping over if i get myself organised enough. A friend from college who left to live somewhere else is down in bedford for a couple of weeks, saw him yesterday and the day before briefly, his aunt still dislikes me and i still hate her guts, some things never change.

Saw my mates new flat last week, glad to see hes getting his life on track properly and securing himself a vital home for an important new addition to his life, and growing up and embracing his new responsibilities properly.

Have seen emma twice in person recently, that was good, she can still make me laugh and everything.

If shes reading this, thanks for still taking an interest in my life despite the fact that i screwed up plenty of times beforehand and have hurt you mentally. Please know that i still care for you and always will, and if we are destined to be just friends forever know that just that kind of commitment will still make me happy, because you are a beautiful, talented girl with a great personality who i am privileged to know :D

Right, back to what im supposed to be doing!

Richard

That time of year....

2006-02-22T13:50:37Z

Sorry i haven't updated on here for ages.

Recently i got a new girlfriend, we have our bad moments and good moments.

I have only just remembered what day it is today. I now realise why the day has been shit so far.

I just hope it doesn't continue the way it has so far.

Im certain I didnt intend to wake up late this morning and so on.

Still go to the same pub quite a lot, i know a lot of people there now and they are nice people to know.

Friends of our family have been staying at our house these last couple of days. Last night was especially funny.

Still on the search for a job..need to be more proactive.

Valentines Day was a laugh in some respects, I tried cooking a meal for my girlfriend. It didnt go too badly, the first course went alright, but then Kira (gf's name) burnt the white chocolate for the cheesecake, intended for the pudding, so it ended up being vanilla cheesecake instead, and the soft cheese i ued was a tad strong, also kira told me a bit too late that she didnt like double cream, which i used in the cheesecake. We also made a mess of the front room, and i managed to follow on a tradition from last Valentines Day :D

I got scared the shite out of a couple of days ago, and realised my mistakes, im not ready for that kind of commitment at the moment, money wise or otherwise.

Went to another catering exhibition yesterday in London at excel. Was really good, lots of free food and interesting new products to view and competitions to watch, also there was work that people had done for the competition such as cakes, sugar flowers, work in fat, salt dough and chocolate which were simply astonishing. I wish id brought my camera, or at least taken some photos on my phone now...oh well, live and learn. Similar to the last time i went to one of these exhibitions, I had to pretend I wasn't a student training to be a chef and that i was actually a chef somewhere (i pretended i was a chef from the swan hotel) which was fun pretending to be something i'm not (yet anyway) and unlike last time i think i did a better job of fulfilling my role :D

Gotta run now anyway, got to do some cake decorating work.

laters all,

Richard

New year again

2006-01-03T14:09:03Z

a happy new year to everyone. i know i havent updated on here for yonks, so therefore im hoping everyone had a good christmas as well. as for me, it worked out alright. the day itself didnt feel like christmas at all, however the dinner turned out alright (i had planned a lot of it) despite maybe overcooking the sprouts a tad. i got little britain series two on dvd and some posh choccies (and christmas chocolate coins which always piss me off because off the annoying wrappers, i always seem to get chcoclate under my fingernails when i open them) as well as a new bath towel and other bits and bobs. new years was insane, i cycled to Westoning (near flitwick) for a new years party got drunk at a girls house and threw up, and havent felt better since. Everyone who i mentionned the cycle ride to congratulated me, despite the fact that westoning isnt the furthest ive cycled, previously ive cycled about twenty miles in a day, but it felt good to be praised on what they thought was a notable achivement. It was knackering, james my mate said there werent many hills and promised me it wasn't 'that' far, both statements being completely false, it took us about two hours to get there (admittidly we could have cycled faster, but anyway) and there was loads of hills, plus the fact that it was freezing cold and my legs were playing up.

On new years day despite feeling off colour i attended my friend iains new years day breakfast do, which was alright, food was good and in plentiful supply, and the time spent there was relaxed and rather entertaining, as whilst there i saw iains newest dvd vic reeves big night out series collection (we watched about three episodes and they were hilarious) played some mobile phone games such as worms and some crazy mario and sonic take off, and gave singstar on the ps2 a try, rather amusing, i might add.

Thats about it for now, today im attempting to do some work for once, and i have got to drop off a urine sample for a test (i went to the doctors recently after seeing the practice nurse because my health isnt that great at the minute) and thats about it.

i am at the minute getting incresingly pissed off with microsoft, small children and certain other people who they are with, and people who imitate police officers and stuff like that.

till my next riveting entry,

good-bye

Quick Entry

2005-11-08T09:07:28Z

Just a few notes before i go off to college.

Met a new lady friend, things are going well, we are not going out yet, but time will tell.

Birthday on Saturday :D hopefully getting a mp3 player if i can find a decent one that aint expensive as fuck like an ipod.

Been getting drunk et all too much recently. Didnt cost me anything though, so i cant complain.

Visited dans new bedsit room, tis cool and his housemates and friends are a laugh.

Must go now, take care all, will endevour to write a more detailed entry when i have more time

Richard xx

New Computer

2005-10-08T17:00:03Z

Our family now has a new desktop computer. We have a new tower unit, a new mouse, a new keyboard (complete with hotkeys :p) and new speakers, a new printer which we have had for a while, and yer, everything works great. We've got the same monitor though, we should be getting a new one soon, but Mum thought it wasn't that urgent for the monitor to be replaced, so she postponed it. If Robert (b0bulat0r) is reading this, thanks for piecing together the computer and setting up the required programs etc for it :) its greatly appriciated, trust me.

We finally have a new cmos battery you see, unlike the old machine which didnt work and we had to adjust the date and time settings everytime we turned on the machine, which was annoying and monotonous.

James should be coming down to bedford next week, that should be good and a laugh.

I may be going to Great Yarmouth the week after, so I have got to watch my spending, otherwise i won't be able to afford the ticket fare.

College has been tiring but nevertheless alright this week, it was thought that i would have a day off, as agreed previously when I was handed my new timetable after a ridiculous wait. (i was scheduled at that time to have a day off on every second Friday) However this turned out to be not the case, as Derek said that the pastry class and kitchen theory that i am timetabled for on a Friday happens every week regardless :S Evidence therefore that the Hospitality and Catering department of Bedford College is not quite at the standard it needs to be, in some areas anyhow. I did a function on Thursday for Sam in the restuarant which knackered my legs.

Last week beginning on Wednesday, and last weekend and the beginning of this week until Wednesday proved to be a testing and difficult time, as i was given about this time to complete all of my Key Skills assignments for level one as the EV (External Verifier) was due to come in on the Wednesday that has passed. It was therefore a mad rush to get everything done. Much cursing and stress occured. I was able to do what was required apart from the first assignment which the whole year group started at the beginning of our first term at college. I passed the other asssignments though and my tests, so to get my full Key Skill award I have to do Assignment 1 again, to my annoyance. I got the certificate for passing the tests last weekend and our family ordered a takeaway of my choice (involving having pealla) which was great. I have to redo Assignment 1 because the idiots at college lost my original assignment somehow :S and i didn't have time to redo the whole assignment again before the EV's arrival, no wonder really, as i was given only a few days to do a assignment that was supposed to be spread out between 2-3 months. Insane as you may agree. The actual work itself i realise now is actually very easy computer work using Microsoft Office programs, but it also required research which i couldn't do during the time restraints.

Must go, since mum is moaning about me using this computer, despite the fact that i had been using my laptop and wanted a break due to my neck hurting (a result of my posture whilst using the laptop)

Spoons rules by the way, and Rock School, both on channel 4

Take care everyone,

Richard

yell.com

2005-09-29T19:21:06Z

Is great :p

Today was good.

This course is starting to get even more interesting than last year.

That can only be a good thing.

My only complaint is that everyone cant respect me the same.

However i think that is just due to immaturity.

Ill update tomorrow as well most likely, because I've got my first pastry class tomorrow and i want to report on how it went.

Off now, working on key skills assignments

Take care all,

Richard

Story

2005-09-25T14:43:46Z

i have been thinking some crazy arse thoughts recently, so i thought id try writing a story encompasssing those thoughts. Whether i have the will to continue writing it i am yet unclear, but we shall see.

I also was going to write on here the story behind Majora's Mask. I shall do that another time, as it is written on here so i won't forget. Let me assure you that the entry when i write it will not be nesessarily for others reading pleasure, it will more likely be used as a memory to look back on later in my life.

I am interested though at the thought of actually becoming a writer someday, since i have a crazy imagination, the ideas were literally pouring out earlier.

And if my book im writing now gets published, well that would be incredible.

If anyone is actually genuinely interested, the story is a pure fantasy story, as I enjoy reading books of this nature. It may end up being a trilogy, like Lord of the Rings, as the book is about someones life. (not like LOTR) I doubt whether i will be able to match Tolkien or Pratchett though, ability wise, but time will tell.

Might go for a walk later, to clear my head and give me some exercise.

Also am currently on job lookout, have spotted KP job at a hotel in paper that im am likely to go for, but am keeping open-minded.

Anyway, take care all,

Richard

Drought

2005-09-24T12:05:40Z

Is this the month of drought for livejournal entries or something? Ive been looking at my friends page as usual everyday, and it seems the only person who has been updating is little_smasher and linkinparkfans, but not very often. Is this typically the month when not much happens in peoples lives or something? Or is it that people are too busy with new schoolwork?

Just a few thoughts, because I dont remember it being this bad, and it feels unusual.

I was listening to Dead Ringers just now, so funny. I especially liked the Trevor Mcdonald impression, where he was talking about doing the chime for Big Ben, in other words, him going 'Bong!' every hour, soo funny.

Have hardly smoked anything this week, I will give up, and if it means Mum giving me cash in relation to the number of days i haven't smoked, then its all good.

I'm going to do a long entry tonight, on the story behind Majora's Mask. I have been playing it recently, and have decided by myself that it is a classic, like all the other Zelda games I have played. Therefore I am going to write the story out in full, since ive only just understood it completely, and in the future I want to remember what I was into and things, so im going to make it as detailed as possible.

So anyway, a quick message before i go,

UPDATE PEOPLE!!!

Richard

oh my fucking god

2005-09-20T15:43:16Z

they are STILL at it.

Im going to get so mad and depressed in a minute.

Grrrrrr.

(if noone knows what i mean, refer to the previous entry)

James is back in bedford again, so at least i have someone to socialise with out of college, even if it is him.

hes been kicked out his house, because his parents think he stole 30 quid from his mum's purse, when he was in Great Yarmouth. How stupid is that?

Saw lee from the pub last night, and smoked two fags :S (im trying to give up)

mixed evening really, and mixed day, cake decorating today was alright though, despite the two idiots from the group, and sam barker davies being a twat :@

Sugarcraft yesterday, made holly berries out of sugar paste, learnt how to make a different flower, and also how to insert stamens into the flower and how to wrap multiple ones round the stem using this tape stuff.

I just wish some people would grow up faster than they are able to.

Oh well,

Take care all,

Richard

Some people

2005-09-14T19:15:46Z

Some people are just jerks, plain and simple. I came home today in such a pissed off mood. those idiots would just not stop. When will some people ever learn to accept people and learn some manners. These two people at college would not stop taking the piss out of me just because i went out with a larger figured girl.

1) in my opinion there is nothing wrong with larger figured women in essense, the only thing wrong with them is most likely their heart etc.

2) Just because a girl has a large figure, doesn't mean someone can't fall in love with them.

3) I can go out with whoever the fuck i want.

This year is going to be hard on me. i can tell already. However, despite how hard things get i am not going to give up. I want my qualifications.

Looking forward to tomorrow night at Iain's, haven't seen him in ages.

I have been really depressed this week. i think it's simply because the people i used to hang around with at college last year eitheir can't see me (fucking stupid i know) or they don't me in the same way as they did previously, and that sucks. I mean i used to have people round my house after college loads last year, sometimes there was just me and one other person, or there would be loads i'd cater for at once and we'd all have a laugh together and so forth.

I know this year is going to be a wake up call for me to work and push myself and ill have more work to do, meaning the likelihood of free time is reduced, but it still makes me feel lonely. As harsh at it may seem, i'd rather hang out or whatever you want to call it with my friends than my family, despite the fact that some of my college mates often bully and take the piss out of me.
Why? I feel like I don't really fit in with my sisters and mother. I don't think it would be much different with Dad around eitheir, relationship wise, apart from the obvious changes like things being easier for Mum etc.

Right thats all for now

Take care everyone,

Richard

About Fucking Time

2005-09-11T12:59:02Z

Why the title you may ask? Ill tell you why, because i finally got my phone running again :D It took ages though, and the amount of times i had to repeat myself :S grrr

College tomorrow :S but i dont have to be in till half one, so :P

Watched Romeo and Julliet last night (the modern version directed by Baz Lurman) Such a tragic story and the newer version has this song which made me depressed because i thought of me and charlotte's situation, but nevertheless fitted the scene perfectly (of romeo and julliet seeing each other for the first time and falling in love at first sight)

Might see a film later, whole reason i was on the computer in the first place, to check cinema times.

The lsat film i saw was the cave, which was great. Lets hope theres something decent to watch on atm.

Oh and a thought provoking question, if computers are so damn smart why the FUCK can't this stupid piece of ancient shit remember when i set the god damn time and date and year!!! grrrr

Can't wait till magical trevor 3 is on weebl toons :p

Haha i was randomly looking on the Nintendo forums last night, and one of the threads was a load of idiots who were trying to prove that you can find the triforce in Zelda:OOT when everyone knows you can't actually find the whole thing, and Link has part of it anyway. These guys were wasting their time trying out these rumours of so called routes to the triforce which none of them made sense. The stupidist thing was they were doing it just so they could needlessly prove to others that they were wrong!!!! WHEN THEY KNEW THEY WERE WRONG!!!! IDIOTS!!!

The sages on the board (moderators or some shit) kept telling them that they were wasting there time, that the triforce could never actually be found in all three parts and that the thread had been done ages ago, but they still continued!!!!

Sheesh!

oh well, thats enough jabbering from me, laters all,

Richard

September again

2005-09-06T20:17:36Z

traditionally this is the time of the year when i get depressed because i know the end of what is usually a good summer is coming to an end. So far this september has been no exception, especially today. Why you might ask? Personal issues concerning Charlotte and stuff. All on my sisters birthday as well :S Today was alright in some ways though, I mean all of us went out for a meal today, to celebrate Zoe's birthday and the end of summer (?!) but it was a good change anyway.

apologies for a bit of a low detail entry, but if i had then i dont think it would have made good reading.

At present the rest of the family are playing scrabble (don't ask) and the new coldplay album which i brought Zoe for her birthday is on, so im happy in that respect. Still jealous of her though :S

Enrolling for next year at college tomorrow, and maybe seeing Charlotte.

We'll just have to see what happens.

You'll be able to tell if things have gone the way i want, because ill write a happy entry about it.

Laters all,

Richard

Another? moan

2005-08-30T16:17:36Z

I am getting soo pissed off right about now. let me explain why.

Thoughout this year it seems like i have had a curse put on me or something.

Each month that goes past it seems like something bad has to happen..i cant control my expenditure, i have an argument with mum etc.

Why the hell does it have to be this way?

What the hell have i done to deserve this????

How can i get out of these seemlessly neverending problems? Can I get out of them?

Ok so maybe i am exaggerating a bit here, but at the moment it just seems that way.

I mean for example this month Satin died (see last post) and I got my phone nicked by a load of dickhead chavs!!!

I forgot Roberts birthday as well...

Im not allowed to see one of my good friends from college (Sam) because his stupid fucking aunty won't realise that it wasn't just me who broke a sofa that was part of a suite, it was another friend of mine as well, and also how it was broken (the bitch thinks I was 'jumping up and down on it' instead of simply lying down on it with Charlotte when we heard the breaking sound) However, James the mate in question literally dived onto the sofa, causing it to break further (so I'm not solely responsible :@) Then soon afterwards Sams brother had an agrument with James down the phone and a whole lot of other ridiculous stuff happened.

Enough complaining, yesterday was pretty good, i went with James and his family to Great Barford for a picnic, (his parents cycled to the Danish camp in Willington and me, James, William and Becky his stepsister went in Becky's car there) and then walked to Great Barford. We had a drink from the pub nearby and ate our picnic and relaxed next to the canal in the sun. Following that we walked back to Willington and had an ice cream at the Danish Camp before heading back to Bedford the same way we arrived.

In the evening I hung around with James and had fajitas at his house in the evening, which i love, so that was good.

The day before I believe I was with James and my good mate Nathan. We met up with some skaters that Nathan knew (and some he didn't as well i think) and some that James knew through Nathan. (and some he didn't) I didnt know any of them bar one who i'd hung out with before briefly so i met a lot of new people, and hung out on top of Cemetery Hill (getting up there was bloody tiring though) We had also hung out in town with yet more skaters earlier on and brought a rather essential pack of twenty fags from Whsmith (shocked me that a book store would sell fags, but we made the most of it)

Today there are builders round here making loads of noise sorting out the garden wall surrounding our house, since over time it has become pretty damaged at some time or another and also the fence surrounding the back garden has been damaged and needs replacing and also the back gates so they are hard at work removing the said items today before replacing the wall etc with new bricks and everything else over the course of this week I believe.

Recently we have also had a new lock put on our front door and we are due to have a new lock put on the patio door as weel sometime when the guy doing the work finds the right lock (our patio door is old and so he has had trouble finding newer type locks that will fit the doors dimensions)

I also buggered up cleaning the house in time before mum and sisters got back from there holiday (I didn't have time, honest! :S) which resulted in arguing and an overall bad mood of all in the house.

Right thats all.

Enjoy the read (if you have the time and can make sense of what ive written good luck with that)

Richard

so it had to be today...

2005-08-17T14:26:34Z

as you may or may not be aware, i have the house to myself at the moment. Today came with quite a shock. Whilst i am here alone i have to look after the family pets, one of which Satin, our guinea pig, hadnt been weel recently, but had shown signs of beign back to normal again, so our family thought nothing of it, and we took her to the vet and he couldnt say much about her condition.

Anyway, i was watching telly in the lounge when i heard a shuffling sound. i thought what the fuck that aint normal, and went to check out the source of the then unexplained sound. It turned out to be satin, scrabbling around. I knew this wasnt normal behaviour, and i thought i should do something about it, so i pushed all the sawdust level again (her scrabbling had pushed the bed of sawdust around so there was none under her feet)but with no effect. Eventually she just lay in between her bedding area and her eating area in a funny position and stopped moving despite my efforts.
I then rang mums mobile and told her what had happened. She obviously was as distressed as me and apologised for the fact that i had to deal with such a situation by myself. Before the day ends i will put satin in the freezer to preserve her for burial when everyone gets back. (i know it sounds nasty, believe me) Im not looking forward to my sister Zoe getting back, ill have to explain all of this to her :(

The depressing thing about all this is i know we are never going to have a pet like this again. Satin was one of a kind :(

Hope everyone else is doing alright though.

1 week to go...

free house

2005-08-15T15:34:26Z

i have a free house for twelve days.

so far i havent really been making the most of it, like last summer when i had loads of friends round and we hung out in the back garden ate food and smoked.

the people who were there some i have lost contact with and some have moved away.

so i am a tad lonely.

apart from a few people who are around.

some people are also on holiday.

some people havent been online so i cant talk to them that way.

but im doing fine.

so ill write when more stuff has happened.

Richard

Song Lyrics

2005-08-10T19:39:00Z

This is the new single of X+Y, called 'Fix You'. Its quality :) The video for this song is pretty cool, and apparently it features my sisters mate in the crowd (you see the band playing live when they join together to all sing the last few verses beginning 'Tears streaming...')

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I

Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you.

Apologies for lateness of entry

2005-08-10T19:27:46Z

yeah i know its been a while since i updated on here..but there has been nothing much really to report.

i went to great yarmouth recently with my mate james to see a mate of ours who moved up there, and met some new people, went to a club called Rosie's where I almost pulled and altogether generally we both had a good time, except when me and james ran out of money so we were a bit buggered food wise for a while, when we missed the train back from norwich, and my mum had to pick me and james up from cambridge train station, but apart from that things ran smoothly. :S

I saw charlotte recently and she had our evening meal with us. that was good.

my mum and eldest sister (and zoe sometime as well) are going away for two weeks on friday, so ill have the house to myself for two weeks like last summer. People are welcome to pop round (but at social hours...please!) since ill probably be bored stiff :(

ive got to look after the guinea pigs and fish, water the plants and take the bin out stuff like that whilst they are away..nothing hard, same as last time.

Ok thats about it, im off now, take care all,

Richard

oh and incase people want to see what my new phone is, check out this website: http://shop.orange.co.uk/shop/show/handsets/pay_as_you_go/all/all

new phone

2005-07-28T13:26:01Z

i got a new phone yesterday :D

Its a motorola v220 and its cool.

If anyone wants my number then just ask.